Coolest thing ever: iPhone 4.

Uncoolest thing ever: holding Apple accountable for giving the iPhone 4 shitty reception and shitty construction.

Today I took a trip down to the land of Cincinnati to take part in a ‘sneak preview’ event for the next set in the WoW TCG. I was hoping to fare better in this event, compared to the regionals, since you are given 6 packs of cards, and that’s all you have to build your deck from. I got myself up at about 6:30 this morning, met up with another of the players from the local shop, and we made the 2 hour trip down the highway to cincibilly. (more…)

So tonight was the first battle at the local game shop for the newest game I’m playing, AT-43, and it ended up being a three way battle between the United Nations of Ava (led by yours truly), the Red Blok, and the Karmans. (more…)

So I’m pretty sure I was the happiest boy on the block when I heard that Guitar Hero 3 was coming out on the Wii. I’d heard so much recent buzz about GH2, and was told that I needed to play it by a handful of my close and most trusted compatriots, and I love games that require ungodly amounts of skill and coordination. Mostly I like video games that give me an excuse to curse freely when I end up just one button shy of that perfect score.

I went about pre-ordering myself a copy that very same day, mere minutes after my most joyous discovery. Browsing my way to one of those oh-so-popular price comparison sites I quickly determined that finding a GH3 bundle priced lower than 90 bones just wasn’t going to happen. But then I stumbled upon a price anomaly…a site selling it for $10 less than any of those competing chumps. A site I had never heard of, but one that sounded reputable to me. Navigating the site I had noticed that things were somewhat sloppily put together, the site was kind of slow, but these were just minor surface problems and I know to never judge a book by its cover. But their prices were lower, and I was convinced that they would uphold their mission statement “to provide you, the customer, with a lower price alternative for purchasing your Video Games”. And from this experience I also learned that you should never shop at a website based on it’s Low Low Prices.

GameFanFanatic.com is run by Chris and January Parnell, or at least that’s what I’m assuming based on the first email I received addressed from Chris and January Parnell. I understood that I wouldn’t be getting GH3 on the day that it came out, and that since the release date was on Sunday that it wouldn’t ship until Monday or maybe Tuesday at the latest. After a series of emails from different addresses – Chris and January Parnell, Chris Parnell, and lastly from cgpkcfan@hotmail.com – I started to become a bit disconcerted. If the hotmail addresses weren’t bad enough (who the fuck runs a business through a hotmail account?) the content of the emails really drove home the error of my ways. The most recent volley of correspondence from them was this:

You have recently placed an order for the Guitar Hero 3 Bundle Wii. Just to inform you of whats going on is that my warehouse is expecting a shipment sometime Saturday 11-03 or Sunday 11-04 this was due to some sorta delay on the manufactures side!

Thanks for your patience and understanding!

It hit me that Chris and January Parnell are probably incestuous siblings running a game business out of their parent’s basement, and I wouldn’t be shocked to hear that they use every product that passes through their filthy hands as some sort of masturbatory device in their ongoing brother on sister inbreeding carnival. Every retail store in my area has this game in stock. GameFanFanatic, if they were professional at all, would have had this item in stock at least the day or two after it came out. But now I’ll have to wait until at least this weekend for them to even have the damn thing in stock, and even then it’ll be another week before I get it, and even at that I’ll likely have to go pick it up from the UPS distro center since those guys always show up during the 5 minutes I’m taking a dump in the morning.

For shattering my faith in the little guy, for making me think twice before rooting for the underdog, and for grievous spelling errors in their email, GameFanFanatic.com has earned its place in the hall of shame. I’ve requested my money back from them, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they won’t be responding to that email.

I hate all current phones. I need a new phone of my own. Please help me! Here are the bare minimum requirements for the phone that I need (which does not, AFAIK, yet exist):

• smartphone (web browsing, emailing, mapping, etc. are supported – no music purchases or games required)
• camera (2MP or greater) that does not suck entirely
• Micro or Mini SD card support (can use adapters to SD and use on Wii, cameras, etc.)
• legitimate MIDP/Java support for Google Maps and Gmail mobile app and Opera Mini
• flip form factor
• Bluetooth w/ A2DP & AVRCP profiles
• GPS (can be skipped as long as compact, quality BT based GPS addon is available)
• QWERTY keyboard && physical numeric keypad (I want both, and I want to feel individual buttons)

I don’t give a damn about the OS – as long as it works well (this means no Palm OS). This is the absolute main requirement: this phone should not drive me into a frenzied rage every time I use it. Is there a name for this feature? Is “not sucking” part of anyone’s business plan anymore?

Also, fuck the price. If you find me a phone that does what I want and doesn’t drive me batshit insane every time I want to write a text message or receive a call then I’ll buy us both one, even if it’s iPhone-ish in cost.

Update: I went with the T-Mobile Wing (unlocked, should work w/ AT&T) and a separate GPS unit.  I also splurged on the memory card and Bluetooth headset.  I blame this spending spree on Snowcrash.

So, this was just forwarded to me from a coworker, and its too fucking awesome to not post here.

From: Ann Winegardner
Sent: Sunday, November 12, 2006 6:32 PM
To: “Undisclosed-Recipients”
Subject: Legos for Ohio State Fans

Here it is after 2+ years of work. It is a 1:275 (approximate) scale model of Ohio Stadium, built entirely with Legos. A few pictures are attached to this e-mail, I hope everyone will be able to open them. (more…)