I probably don’t do as much crawling of the ole web as some of you. What strikes me as new a clever might, in point of fact, be “totally last year.” Regurdless, I know some of us like Weird Al. Some of us also like WoW (in principle, at least.) So I now proudly present two great tastes that taste great together.

What I mean by the title of this post is that, through liberal use of personification, Monday can be viewed as the day of the week with the most congenital birth defects.

Actually, most groups of 7 items have 6 interesting members and 1 retarded item. Take the Seven Dwarves and that half-wit Dopey. Also of interest is the most retarded of the 7 Heavenly Virtues: Chastity. Yeah, sexual abstinence, great idea. That’s a real swell way to promote your way of life – let’s not procreate and let the species die the fuck out!

I can’t really say anything about the 7 Deadly Sins, but I will say that that model chick who died of Pride in Se7en was a retard. That nose was already plastic surgeried beyond recognition, just chop it off and buy a new one. ‘Tard.

Monday, or ‘Corkyday’ as I sometimes refer to it, seems to attract brutally retarded events and behavior like a full moon attracts freaks, weirdos and lycanthropes. Or maybe it’s like how Chuck E. Cheeses attracts pedophiles. Or how free booze attracts assholes. Yes, Monday is the ‘free booze’ of the calendar week. Except that they share 0 positive aspects and infinite negative aspects.

I’m not going to back up my claims that Monday is cognitively impaired with any stories or anecdotes: either you know what I mean or you don’t. All I can really pass on is a long string of insignificant events and small things. They’d bore you to hear them all but if you had to live through them all in one day it’d drive you bat-shit insane.

Happy Halloween tomorrow, kiddies!

This weeks babe of the week comes to you a bit late, but better late than never, right? This babe was somewhat recommended by Pasty, by providing me with a visual reminder of her babeness. (more…)

First and foremost, I have renamed the “holiday” of Friday the 13th in honour of Willard, Ohio’s prodigal son and Cleveland Browns quarterback Charlie Frye.

We survived a Full Harvest Moon (FHM, for which the magazine is truly named) one week ago today and we shall have to endure the All Hallow’s Eve celebration at the end of this month. Only once per every three years do we see an FHM in October, which perenially contains Halloween. The next Octoberish Frye-day the 13th will be in 2028. Clearly we are at some cross-roads. A confluence of events has led us, or perhaps trailed us, to a turning point in the course of human events.

Focal points in time-space are as common in this timestream as fleas are on a junkyard dog, but this one is especially potent. What we are seeing is a cataclysmic rupture. One whose effects can be either positive or negative. The vast majority of this time of anomoly are merely key frames in a film that has only one possible outcome. We are at a fracturing point at the intersection of several dimensions where we may see a true change in the course of this universe’s life. Usually there is only one way to find out how the change will affect us: to wait. Only a special type of mage can understand the import of the situation and discern true omens when they appear.

I have good news and bad news. I am a certified and practicing mage of a suitable rank to be able to (discretely) plumb the depths and heights of our shared universe and divine from all portents the True Meanings at times exactly like this one. Unfortunately, I have detected omens and portents that do not bode well at all.

Behold my methods and interpret the results for yourself!

Make the journey to a Wendy’s and visit the drive through. Order a #2 combo – hold the pickles – with a Large (AKA Grande) Coca-Cola®. Now add to your order one (1) Strawberry Yoghurt with Granola and pull forward to the first window.

That is the price you pay for your meal and that is the price your soul pays for our collective misdeeds and poor karma. Make preparations for the Other World! Be prepared, for that is the Scout Motto!

The situation is dire, but if this plane of existance still exists by the Full Beaver Moon then you will know we have persevered the onslaught.

I figure, making a straight jump from four babes last week to just one babe this week might be too much. To ease into the reduction of babes, I have cut the number of babes in half this week – and kept with the TV show theme. This weeks babes are Mila Kunis and Laura Prepon, better known as Jackie and Donna on That ’70s Show.

Again, in order to keep the work safeness of the main page, clicky the (more…) to see this weeks BotW.
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According to an article in some entertainment rag Geo Lucas is (finally) quitting the movie biz. So, aside from Indy 4 and something about the Tuskegee airmen he’s out of the blockbuster business and into tv shows and, apparently, made for tv movies. Lovely. Episodes 1, 2 and 3 had cool light saber battles and little else of substance. I am ready for him to get out of the business, but him not making new films isn’t what concerns me.

Remember the Special Editions of Star Wars? Of course you do, until very recently they were the only ones you could buy. The original original trilogy releases aren’t even the main feature on the new DVDs and then they are only ripped from the laserdiscs. Digitally remastered? You wish. But DVD sales aren’t what concerns me. (more…)

Today, I start a new feature here at Tiny Gods – the Babe of the Week. Well, since this is the first installment, and it has to be totally badass, it will feature multiple babes, all from Lost. Season three starts today, so here I will celebrate some of the hotness this show brings to Wednesday night – in the form of Evangeline Lilly, Maggie Grace, Emilie De Ravin, and Yunjin Kim.

In order to keep the work-safeness of the front page, you gotta click through to see the good stuff! (more…)