So last night I went out to see a movie. That is something that I try to do frequently. You see, I love movies. If I could marry movies, I would. Several of my fellow Tiny Gods know that I even love “bad” movies (Planet of the Apes, anybody?) I can’t help it… I love stories.

It may shock some of you to find out that I did not enjoy the movie I watched last night. It may shock you further to learn that the movie I saw was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

What George Lucas and Steven Spielberg did to one of my favorite characters of all time is, as the title suggests, unforgivable. I can’t really rant too much about this movie without dropping in some spoilers, so I’ll keep this short. I will say this, though: Monkeys. Watch the movie and you’ll know what that means.

I recall reading an interview with George Lucas in which he stated that he and Steven wanted to keep the same “look” as the previous Indiana Jones films and that CG effects would be used only when necessary.

Fucking. Lies.

This movie wasn’t the CG-fest that the Star Wars prequels were, but there was still a lot of it being used unnecessarily. Some scenes/shots seemed to exist for the specific purpose of using a cool CG effect, which is something I have grown to expect from Lucas, but was hoping I wouldn’t have to put up with in this new Indy movie.

The writing was extremely lazy. This did not feel like a character-driven story, as the previous movies certainly were. Things just sort of happened. There were plenty of interesting characters, both old and new, that didn’t seem to be used to their fullest potential. This movie didn’t feel like a genuine adventure.

The plot was terrible. I can’t really comment much here, but the story was just bad in a general way. I’m sure that there are Indiana Jones fans who would disagree with me, but I thought this was a total departure from the tried and true Indy formula.

There seemed to be many attempts to make this a huge blockbuster event of a movie, but in the end everything felt small. I have tried to defend him sometimes in the past, but now I am convinced that George Lucas is the worst thing that has happened to all of his amazing franchises. If he tries to make a new Willow movie I will drive to his house and pee in his mailbox.

Has anybody else seen this movie? I’d love to know what you folks think about it. I won’t say that anybody should avoid seeing it based on my opinions, but if you must see it, I recommend stealing it as a matter of principle.

I’m on a new diet that I call the “Too Busy Playing GTA To Eat Diet”.  It’s basically just like anorexia, but accidental.  Also, you steal a lot of cars and kill a lot of cops.  I’m not sure if I’m losing weight, but if your dietary goal is to be too exhausted to get out of bed in the morning, this is the diet for you!

I’d write more but I’m too fucking tired.

One love, Нико Белић!

Check out this Biofuel comparison chart.

So what do you think?  Nevermind that corn ethanol is indirectly cutting our precious Tequila supply, it’s clear that we don’t have a solution now.   Do any of these look good long term?  Sure, if we get the algae burning automobiles with “gas” tanks that actually incubate the algae internally we’ll truly be living in The Future!

But that’s all beside the point.  Look, we’re going about it slightly wrong, and I’ll tell you the right way(s).

1. Gas is actually a biofuel anyway, the problem is that it’s such a wicked old biofuel that it’s nonrenewable.  Let’s try to make crude oil into a renewable resource.  If we simulate dinosaur decomposition then we keep the (awesome) cars we have.  That’d be ideal (and would bankrupt the OPEC too!) but it probably won’t happen since they shut down Jurassic Park.

2.  Try the biofuel options like ethanol and biodiesel.  I am definitely jumping the gun here, but let’s just call it a miserable failure, get our tequila production back on track, and move on to something more interesting.

3.  Biofuels for mechanized people movers?  Illogical.  Look at the biofuels that we have technology to use: corn, sugar, soy.  What’s the problem with those?  We use them for food.  We, organic critters, use those items as “fuel” for our own movement and operation.  See where I’m going with this?  Grow us some fucking cars!  Get some mad scientists on the job and let’s shift the paradigm from “fueling up” to “feeding” our rides.  Catbus anyone?
PS I am aware that “My Important Thoughts” is redundant.

Just check out the Amazon Music Store for the Grand Theft Auto IV soundtrack.  The CD box set is not out yet for this game, so you can purchase all the music you hear on Liberty City radio stations on Amazon, but you can’t download it on my fave torrent sites yet and I think that’s strange and wonderful.

The Rockstar Social Club has not synched with my ZiT! checks in-game yet but no big deal.  What a great store!  Combine a game about THEFT and a really easy way to BUY music and you curb music piracy in the short term.  I love it, and that’s before Chuck regaled me with some zany tales of how awesome Rockstar is about getting these soundtracks.