They just had to push their luck! Right when I was starting to feel like revoking their temporary Hall of Shame membership, Burger King had to go an do this.

Yes, friends, Burger King is now in the cologne business. That on its own isn’t too terrible. It could just be a ridiculous little marketing stunt. Hell, I might have even been tempted to buy a bottle just for the sake of novelty. But they had to take it a step too far with this:

The King's New Clothes

That isn’t an image that I want in my head! It is especially bad considering that they are releasing these ads along side their Whopper Virgin campaign. What does this say to me? It says “The King is going to rape the planet!”

For disturbing advertising, I hereby extend Burger King’s Hall of Shame membership!

I’ve added Google’s Friend Connect to the site (it’s on the sidebar to the right –>). This is just a quick note to say that Yes, you should sign in and add this site. Also, if you’re new to Friend Connect (everyone is) please check your profile and decide if you want your real name and personal info broadcast openly. The defaults are sketchy, so be careful out there if you want to.

This is part one of a two part hall of shame post, the second of which can be found here.  First up is Westinghouse.  Last summer, I purchased a Westinghouse 47″ HDTV.  Last night, I broke it.  I accept full responsibility for breaking my TV, however, the lack of customer service is what gets ol’ W this hall of shame nod. (more…)

This is the second of my two hall of shame posts for the day.  I previously spoke of the poor service I ran into with the manufacturer of my now deceased TV, and the problems didn’t stop there.  This hall of shame nod goes to GE Money Bank, fine purveyors of the “Amazon Store Card”, not to be confused with the Amazon Visa, which is issued by Chase. (more…)

I have gone through several long periods of time without watching TV over the last 10 years. I generally prefer to spend my time with movies and video games. Sometimes I’ll stumble upon or be introduced to a show that I absolutely fall in love with. Such shows turn me into a television viewer again. Then some asshole has to ruin it by deciding that these shows aren’t good shows, and they should be destroyed.

It happened when FOX canned Arrested Development. It happened when HBO canceled Carnivale. It happened when CBS pulled the plug on Jericho. Now ABC is going to kill off Pushing Daisies and I am furious.

Pushing Daisies is among the most unique TV series I’ve ever seen. Absolutely everything about it is excellent. I won’t bother explaining the story or offering up a review since it’s not going to even survive through an entire second season, but it got me in front of my TV. This is a show that was nominated for 11 Emmy Awards this year (it won 3) and has won several other awards during its lifetime. I think that’s pretty impressive for a show that was created during the season of the writers’ strike. It never had a proper chance to attract a large viewer-base early in the game and now, even though it is still receiving much critical acclaim, ABC isn’t going to buy any new episodes because the ratings are too low.

Why do I even bother watching when any show that I really get into is inevitably going to be crushed by bullshit network executives? Now Brian Fuller, the creator of Pushing Daisies, is going back to work on Heroes which is a show that is failing to measure up to the bar it set for itself in the first season. Why does THAT show get to live but MY show had to die? TV is supposed to be the place that I can escape to when the real world is treating me unfairly. Where am I supposed to go now? Huh, ABC? Where am I supposed to go now?!?

At least Flight of the Conchords have a new season starting next month. That will cheer me up. UNTIL HBO CANCELS IT!

Unrelated Note: There is a new poll running in our sidebar. If you ignore the polls or read via RSS, you should get up in here and vote on the fate of the Tiny Godcast!

I love Burger King too much to demand that they become a permanent member of the Tiny Gods Hall of Shame, but they earned themselves a temporary spot yesterday. I will probably revoke their shameful status the next time I eat a Double Whopper and remember that it is the most delicious thing on the planet.

A Burger King was just recently built right down the street from me. It was the only major fast food franchise that wasn’t already within a convenient distance from my apartment. It is now the closest fast food restaurant to me, which is excellent because it also happens to be my favorite.

I was having a relaxing day at home and enjoying the remnants of the weekend with a beer and some Fallout 3. I decided to grab some lunch at BK. Ok, so I was drinking beer before lunch. DON’T JUDGE ME! I got to the drive-thru and prepared to order my standard #2 combo with onion rings and a Coke. I didn’t get to, though.

“Welcome to Burger King. We are temporarily out of burgers, would you like to try some chicken or fish today?”

Of course I didn’t want chicken or fish! I wanted a flame broiled heart attack! I sat there, stunned, for probably a full minute. I said nothing. “Sir?”

I had to make a decision. The #8 looked like it was chicken, so I asked for that. “I’m sorry, sir, that sandwich is grilled. We can’t grill it right now.”

I felt my face crinkling up in a look of bewilderment that the kid at the window must have seen, because he immediately said, “I’m really sorry. Is there something else that I can get you?”

I had seen the commercials where Burger King tells people that they no longer serve the Whopper. Shit like that makes people upset. I never thought it would happen to me. I was being let down by The King, and I wasn’t even on TV. This was real. I looked sadly at the speaker and said, “Never mind. I guess I won’t get anything.”

I was trapped in the line with cars on both sides, so I had to wait for the line. Before I pulled away from the speaker, though, the kid came back and said that they would grill up my chicken sandwich for me. I smiled and thanked him, I paid for my food, I took it home and sat back down in my gaming chair. I was pleased that they had at least helped me out that little bit. Then I opened the bag.

The fries were stale. So so stale. I have worked in fast food before. I know what it looks like when you refry old fries. Also, they had dropped the fries into the bag upside-down, so they were just all over the fucking place. Thanks, Burger King. Jerks.

I tried to contact Friskies today because they don’t carry a bacon wet food for cats.  9Lives has a Liver & Bacon Dinner that my cat quite likes.  How can you have the option to sell bacon to people and utterly refuse to do so?  The mind boggles.

Anyway, I tried to submit feedback this is what I see:

We are currently updating this site.
Please return later today to enjoy the improvements.

Wow, that was lame.  And after all that “work”!  Name, number, email, address – Friskies needs to know. Really, they can’t listen to my cat food feedback without knowing where I live and how to reach me 24/7.   

So I decided to write this post and I needed the exact error message (authenticity!) so I resubmitted the form.  I put in crap data and it went through fine.  OK, I think, I can submit my comment now.  Not so fast, my naïve self!  The website breaks again when I submit real data.  Fake data works like a charm.

Friskies is a Purina brand, so you can blame the parent company for the website problems, but the Friskies execs need to get on the bacon train.  Here are my original comments, which Purina refuses to accept:

Why don’t you have cat food (canned) with bacon in it?  My cat’s love the 9Lives “Liver & Bacon” and I love feeding it to them because I also love bacon.  Friskies has no bacon food that I can find, and I feel this is a mistake.  I prefer 9Lives to Friskies because of the selection.  And btw, the Indoor Selects line makes my cat throw up.

Update:

I replaced the ampersand above with “and” and substituted K for C in select(ion) and the submission was a success:

Thank you for contacting Nestlé Purina PetCare Company.  Your email has been received by our Consumer Affairs Department.  One of our team members will respond to your email as soon as possible.

This does not make me especially happy, because they have proved their previously theoretical incompetence.  Their SQL injection scrubbers are overzealous to the point of brutal retardation.  And here’s some more bad news, Friskies: I’ve gotten another cat, so now you’re losing DOUBLE the profits.